YouTube served me up a lovely new voice tonight, and then it suggested this, a mashup of said voice, Katie Melua, and... well... watch it. I believe it's a film called Threads, but I can't be bothered to check because Matchbox 20 is singing me a lullaby and I don't feel like interrupting. Say what you will about the pop band, and then take a look at his eyes in the last few seconds of the song. That's quality humanness.
If I'm going to be awake at 3am, I might as well be in this sort of mood. Connections, insights, a sudden view into the territory around this momentary rut my life is in. And I don't mean rut in a bad way. At least not entirely. Not that my performance this semester has been perfect, but the semester itself has been... reasonable. I'm currently walking a waiting-for-student-loans tightwire, with bad consequences for having absolutely no cash waiting just a few steps ahead. And I need to somehow kick my independent study into gear. But these are not things that are going to kill me, and I have faith that people are going to be kind to me this time around.
The work is good. The teammates are cool - tonight's afterhours movie selections were Shinobi and Shaun of the Dead, so you know the bonding's topnotch. Which, unfortunately, meant that I missed the last bus home and here I am. Fortunately for you, if you're a long-lost friend wondering what's up with Julie these days. And most of my friends are at least a bit off the radar, so.
I'm not sure whether I wish I didn't need the kindness. It would be great to do everything right and never need help, at least in theory. But maybe it would be even lonelier.
1 comment:
"I have faith that people are going to be kind to me this time around."
Yeah, that was some misplaced faith right there. One fit of temper right before spring break, you break a picture frame and destroy a giant horrible vanity check, and they kick you out for good? Really? After all that misery and mistreatment? All it take is me breaking a picture frame? Geez. Wish they'd put that in the fine print on the acceptance letter.
Anyway, CMU may yet redeem itself. The ETC is... not so much cursed forever as "not a good place to go to grad school, specially if you like nice people and hate tyrants." Spread the word. I hear you can get an MET (Master's of Entertainment Technology) in Vancouver or... somewhere in California has an ETC program. Dunno what theirs are like, but I'd try those first.
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